On nearly every street corner was a funky looking vending machine selling a plethora of drinks. These colourful, flashing dispensers were too good to turn down so we picked our weapon of choice and a chocolatey milkshake came rolling out. When we pulled it from the dispenser, it was warm, actually warm, as though there was a magical radiator in there. It tasted good, real good. After downing it, I purported to show my supreme strength to Ednora, in an attempt to keep her physically attracted to me, by twisting the finished can before throwing it in the bin, but I couldn’t! I know I am not considered the strongest person in a kindergarten class, but it was just a can and I literally could not contort the shell. Then to confirm, Ednora tried too and couldn’t crush it either. It was a super can.

The home of the Super-CanThe home of the Super-Can

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Can-gate was actually on the way to an Onsen about an hour out of Tokyo. Japan is famous for its hot springs, so we were looking forward to this one. We got there and had to change into kimonos, a Japanese style dressing gown. As we got to the Onsen entrance, we realised that it was segregated by gender. We gave each other that look, you know, that look when you realise you have to go naked into a public bath. We entered into our realms, Ednora into the ladies and me into the other one.

What a genuine Japanese experience, being butt-naked around a bunch of Japanese lads. At first I was shy. Being armed with only an average sized tail, I wasn’t sure how I’d live up to the manliness in a room of much gentlemanhood. But it didn’t  take long to realise that for the first time in my life I was the biggest man in the room, so to speak. Now this may have only been because I keep the hedge trimmed down there, but either way, the boy had finally become a man. 

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Another day of sightseeing saw us at Tokyo Tower and a huge Buddhist temple. Darkness gave this temple an eerie yet mystical feel. We were lucky enough to catch a sermon with two Buddhist Monks singing/preaching/praying along to a gong and drums. But then, in the larger temple, we peered through the huge, yet closed, entry doors to witness around 30 Buddhist Monks in procession. It gave a real sense of spiritual awareness, yet also felt like the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (gally ma, shutty day).

The Shinjuku Temple

The Shinjuku Temple

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Just a guy

Just a guy

We then headed to the Gai District for a few sakes. The Gai District was basically a narrow group of walkways with tiny bars all crammed next to each other (each bar literally held a maximum of 6 people). It was set up as a temporary spot for soldiers during and just after the Second World War where they could get stuck into some sake, but is still now as busy as ever. We got cosy in one little bar and got chatting to the barman, a quirky Camden style guy who had spent the last eight years in New York. Then, in rolled a drunk Japanese guy who asked us where we were from about 35 times. He was fun, but repetitive. He asked whether we could meet in three years at Kings Cross station with my yet to be born baby. I said I’d be there. I lied. I won’t be there.

We met our first drunk Japanese guy

We met our first drunk Japanese guy

This was the bit when he decided he didn't like me anymore

This was the bit when he decided he didn’t like me anymore

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Dried squid with banter faces drawn on them

Dried squid with banter faces drawn on them

We had no idea whether this dog was for sale. We think not because they like it. At Tsijuku market

We had no idea whether this dog was for sale. We think not because they like it. At Tsijuku market.

Pudney taller than every Japanese human

Pudney taller than every Japanese human
Ednora in a room full of pussy

Ednora in a room full of pussy

Ednora trying to stroke some pussy in the Cat Cafe

Ednora trying to stroke some pussy in the Cat Cafe

Pussy

The felines

Shinjuku Aquarium

Shinjuku Aquarium

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Just Puds in Japan

Just Puds in Tokyo

Hakone

We decided to get out of Tokyo for a few days and head to the mountainous region of Hakone. With ancient temples, natural springs and waterfalls interweaved into mountains, all overlooked by the magnificent Mount Fuji, we thought that this would be a pretty good place to get away from the hustle bustle of Tokyo. To get to our hotel, we were first transported up the hill on the steepest train ride in Japan. Once checked in, we headed for Lake Ashi where we boarded a pirate ship (it kind of looked like one) and cruised to a ropeway which gave stunning views of Mount Fuji. A part of the ropeway was closed due to a volcano being active, which Ednora loved. Being metres away from our potentially impending doom, from which there was no escape, seemed to give Ednora pleasure – what a masochist.

 

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The boat we took across the lake

The boat we took across the lake

 

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Ednora in Japan, eating sushi with chopsticks, overlooking lake Ashi with Mt Fuji in the background

It doesn’t get more Japanese than this: Ednora in Japan, eating sushi with chopsticks, overlooking lake Ashi with Mt Fuji in the background

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The Venetian Glass Museum

Our friend Hidemi who gave us a gift

Green tea KitKats!

The next day we went for lots of walks to see waterfalls and lakes, including a garden filled entirely with moss. We met a sweet lady dressed in traditional Japanese garb who worked there. She gave us a gift she had made from home and we were lucky enough to get a picture with her. We ended our time in Hakone with a visit to the swimming complex. This place was amazing because you could bathe in things you can drink! There was a Sake bath, coffee bath, green tea bath, tea bath, and a wine bath, a bath of red wine. You could actually swim in wine. At one point, a staff member turned up with a bottle of wine and poured it on my head like I was a king, a king I tell you! Ednora didn’t get in because it stank. Amazing how she loves to dice with death by wanting to go and play with an active volcano, but a bit of smelly wine, no chance.

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